My dear X Mataji,

All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Thank you for your letter. I will try to answer your questions.

The devotees who were cursed by Srimati Radharani to take birth in the material world are not fallen souls, even in this world. They are part of a pastime, like Jaya and Vijaya.

People like you and me are fallen souls. We are in this material world because we chose to be here. It is completely our own choosing, not that we were forced to come here. We come into the material world by our own choice, and we go back to the spiritual world by our own choice.

This is an important point. It is completely our fault that we are in the material world. It is not a curse by Srimati Radharani or anyone else.

You say you are envious of Radharani's relationship with Krishna. This is because you think it is a relationship of sense gratification, like romance in the material world. But it is something completely different. When the gopis kiss the lips of Krishna, they taste nectar, but it is not the nectar of sex desire. It is the nectar of Vedic knowledge.

It is this nectar that gives them the knowledge to play music, to draw, to dance, and so on. Read Srila Prabhupada's purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 2.4.24.

We also relish this nectar when we talk about Krishna, although we can relish it only to a small extent because we have other desires and we commit offenses. The gopis relish it fully because they have no other desires and they do not commit offenses.

Now besides the gopis, there are other girls called manjaris. Here is a passage from Teachings of Lord Chaitanya:

"The personal associates of Radharani are called sakhis, and Her near assistants are called manjaris. It is very difficult to express their dealings with Krsna because they have no desire to mix with Krsna or to enjoy Him personally. Rather, they are always ready to help Radharani associate with Krsna. Their affection for Krsna and Radharani is so pure that they are simply satisfied when Radha and Krsna are together. Indeed, their transcendental pleasure is in seeing Radha and Krsna united. The actual form of Radharani is just like a creeper embracing the tree of Krsna, and the damsels of Vraja, the associates of Radharani, are just like the leaves and flowers of that creeper. When a creeper embraces a tree, the leaves and flowers as well as the creeper automatically embrace it. Govinda-lilamrta (10.16) confirms that Radharani is the expansion of the pleasure potency of Krsna and is compared with a creeper, and Her associates, the damsels of Vraja, are compared to the flowers and leaves of that creeper. When Radharani and Krsna enjoy Themselves, the damsels of Vraja relish the pleasure more than Radharani Herself."

Now you can see here that the manjaris do not desire to enjoy Krishna for themselves, and yet they experience even more pleasure than Srimati Radharani. Here is the next paragraph:

"Although the associates of Radharani do not expect any personal attention from Krsna, Radharani is so pleased with them that She arranges individual meetings between Krsna and the damsels of Vraja. Indeed, Radharani tries to combine or unite Her associates with Krsna by many transcendental maneuvers, and She takes more pleasure in these meetings than in Her own meetings with Him. When Krsna sees that both Radharani and Her associates are pleased by His association, He becomes more satisfied. Such association and loving reciprocation have nothing to do with material lust, although it resembles the material union between man and woman. It is only because that similarity is there that such reciprocation is sometimes called, in transcendental language, transcendental lust. As explained in Gautamiya-tantra (Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu 1.2.285): "Lust means attachment to one's personal sense gratification. But as far as Radharani and Her associates are concerned, they did not desire personal sense gratification. They only wanted to satisfy Krsna."

So you can see that Radharani is very magnanimous and merciful.

Here is another text:

"Direct servants of Lord Krsna are Srimati Radharani or Lord Balarama and other gopis and cowherd boys. Some of the gopis and cowherd boys are assistants to the direct servants. Among these assistants are the manjaris, who help Radharani serve Krsna and who, according to Her [Radharani], experience a happiness even greater than Hers."

So do not think that Srimati Radharani is a selfish sense-gratifier, like us. She always wants to give more happiness to others that she gets for herself.

So your thinking has a contradiction. You want to take the position of Srimati Radharani, but do you want others to have more happiness than you? Actually, you want just the opposite. You want it all for yourself.

This is the difference between spiritual happiness and material happiness. In the material world we want happiness even if we have to get it by taking it away from others. In the spiritual world, we want to make others happier than ourselves.

Now let us turn to Lord Chaitanya. He is Krishna experiencing the happiness of Radharani, but He never takes the position of Radharani although he could. Sri Caitanya Caritamrta does not speak of Lord Caitanya dancing with Krsna and kissing Krsna. He experienced the highest bliss by taking the position of a servant.

Lord Caitanya lived the life that we are being taught to live in Krsna Consciousness, although he could have done anything he wanted.

Always remember that the nectar the gopis and Srimati Radharani taste by kissing Krishna is the nectar of Vedic knowledge, which is already available to us. If you want to know the pleasure of the relationship between Radha and Krishna, then you must worship that relationship and not try to take Radharani's place. It is only by the mercy of Srimati Radharani that we can worship Krishna at all.

Do not aspire to be the supreme female or the supreme anything. That is Mayavadi philosophy, and it is repugnant to a devotee. Aspire to be the servant of the servant. See yourself as lower than the straw in the street. This is Lord Chaitanya's instruction, and it is what He Himself did.

I hope this helps. If you need more clarification, let me know.

Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,

Umapati Swami

© Umapati Swami, December 16, 2006